Preparing for your first EMDR Session
The process of starting EMDR therapy can feel a little daunting at first. That’s why we wanted to make sure you feel as comfortable as possible for your first session with an EMDR therapist. Many people worry about having to relive painful experiences and others are simply not sure what to say.
Our approach is designed to help you feel understood throughout the entire process so that you can get the most out of your EMDR experience. EMDR is a structured, supportive and collaborative therapy. There isn’t a lot of preparation that you need to do, however, there are a few things that can make the task a little easier for your therapist.
What is EMDR?
EMDR is an evidence-based trauma therapy that helps the brain to process distressing memories and experiences that have become ‘stuck’. These experiences typically occur after major traumatic events but can also follow from smaller, more repeated experiences.
EMDR is somewhat different from other therapies in the way that it approaches these experiences. EMDR takes the approach that the memories from these events are often the cause of a lot of the distress that people can continue to feel, long after the event has passed. EMDR helps people to process these events so that they no longer continue to negatively impact people’s lives.
What usually happens in early EMDR session?
The most common question that we get asked is,
‘Will we be doing eye movements in the first session?’. Whilst we are happy to hear that people are so enthusiastic about their EMDR journey, the first session of EMDR focuses on laying the groundwork for the latter phases of the treatment where we will commence the use of eye movements.
The first session aims to address the following goals:
- Building safety and trust between the client and the therapist
- Understanding your history and your current difficulties
- Explaining how EMDR works and answering any questions that you may have
- Learning about your existing coping skills and teaching new techniques
- Developing a treatment plan that aligns with your goals
How to prepare before your first session
1 – Your therapist will meet you ‘where you are at’
Often clients can feel a pressure to be prepared to go straight into things before they are ready. We commonly hear about people’s friends or family who have heard great things about EMDR and are keen to get started right away. Your therapist will work with you at a pace that you are comfortable with and will collaboratively develop a plan with you during your session.
2 – You don’t need to decide what to work on
A common experience at our clinic is that many people feel pressure to arrive with a clear list of memories that they wish to work on. Whilst this can be helpful, it’s often not necessary. Your therapist will help you to determine the types of memories and experience that will later form the ‘targets’ for EMDR processing. For this step, often it can help to notice:
- Situations that are difficult for you
- Repeating themes and patterns in your relationships, work or daily life
- Negative beliefs about yourself that you wish to change
For many people, talking about the past brings up strong emotions that can be too much to handle. In this case, we are more than happy to talk with you around what’s happening for you ‘right now’.
3 – Focus on stability, not digging up the past
In the days leading up to your session, it is best not to deliberately revisit the distress or ruminate about what has happened in the past. The earlier sessions of EMDR are about strengthening your capacity and helping you to feel grounded and safe in the present.
A few things that can help with this process are:
- Maintaining regular sleep and meals
- Regular exercise or movement
- Spending time outdoors, where possible
- Limiting alcohol or other substances
4 – Think about what helps you feel calm
Your therapist will likely ask about things that help to regulate your emotions. It can be helpful to think about:
- People who help you to feel safe
- Places where you can feel calm and relaxed
- Activities that bring a sense of peace
- Sensory experiences that feel grounding for you (music, nature, etc.)
Often, these can form some of the resources that we use during our EMDR journey.
5 – Wear comfortable clothing
EMDR sessions typically involve sitting for close to an hour and noticing a range of experiences and sensations. Comfortable clothing can often help you to feel more at ease, especially when paying attention to the experiences within your body and their associated emotions.
6 – Plan for after the session
While we aim to make sessions as gentle as possible, often it is a good idea to give yourself some space for reflection afterwards. Typically we recommend:
- Allowing time to reflect
- Scheduling something calming, relaxing or neutral
- Avoiding anything too demanding immediately after
It has been our experience that people can benefit most from these early sessions when they aren’t preoccupied with a work meeting or other commitments straight afterwards.
Common concerns about EMDR
‘Will I have to relive [talk about] everything?’
The simple answer is no. The beauty of EMDR is that it does not require you to describe the traumatic events in detail. The goal of EMDR is to help you to focus on reprocessing the memory and not needing to retell the story repeatedly.
‘What if it gets too much?’
Your therapist will work with you to take things at a pace that is right for you. We will work together to give you tools and techniques around self-regulation, grounding and giving you a chance to pause, if needed. EMDR is a collaborative therapy that works with you at a pace that is right for you.
‘I’m not sure I’m doing this right’
Often, people can have some fears around if they are doing EMDR correctly or that they aren’t sure what is ‘supposed to be happening’. It’s important to know that there is no ‘right’ way to do EMDR and everyone’s journey is a little different. Your therapist will work with you around the process and help you to work with whatever may come up during your session.
How you might feel afterwards
In our experience, people’s experience can vary widely from person to person. After your first EMDR session, you may experience:
- New insights into your experiences
- Some emotional sensitivity
- A sense of relief or lightness (getting it off my chest)
- Feeling tired or slightly foggy
These experiences are quite normal and are usually temporary. Your therapist will talk further with you about what to expect during your session.
Summing up
For a lot of people, the experience of starting EMDR can often bring a mixture of optimism but also fear. Often people have heard about EMDR from someone in their circle (e.g. friends, family, health professionals) and are keen to get started. For other people, they can wonder if they are ‘ready enough’ or ‘strong enough’ as people are often nervous about things that they have not tried before.
Also, if you are feeling nervous about what to expect, we are more than happy to help. Please do not hesitate to contact our clinic if you have any questions or any concerns prior to your appointment and we will be happy to offer assistance.
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